I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
