Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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