i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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