She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
