he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
