barbara walters just said penis...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize