Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
she looked like the before picture.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize