I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
