is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We are all done wearing pants today
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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