erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
