I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
