omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
