ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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