well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
