More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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