i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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