So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
