I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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