fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
