So drunk its hurt
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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