He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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