I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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