No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
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