everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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