when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
