i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
