Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
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woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
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Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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