Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
