pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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