When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
