sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
