I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize