hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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