There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
