I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
