I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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