You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize