it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
