ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
