I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
