Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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