i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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