I looked at my own cervix.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
