Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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