Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
