This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
