Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
