she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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