....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
