I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
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Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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