wrigley field is MILF paradise
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
