More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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