I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize