I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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