six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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