Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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