you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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