Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
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I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
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my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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