our cab driver is having phone sex.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
