just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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