On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
