What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
