I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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