I bet he comes in French.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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